It's just another illusion,

added with a temptation.

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Give it a smile, lady!

Be strong, Jielin♥.
Let a first cry on 22 March.
Stuck in HSS in the third year.
Staying united in 3E1'O9,
&, not forgetting 6D'O6.

Of all the uncountable loves i have,
Juinying & Peizhen are the best gifts from heaven.

Lastly, don't judge a book by its cover.

Blog officially opened on 7th March, 2OO9! :D

Counter starts from 7th March 2OO9.

little indian(s) are here (!!!)

Talk to me.

Talk like nobody's business,

Make it come true.
___________________________________________
Material wants don't last,
be contented for what you have.

happy.

stress-free.

friends.

Last updated : 22/06.

Friday, January 1, 2010

YAY, HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

Alright, i know i've said that for many times ... But whatever, i don't care! 'Cause imma happy! :D Okayokay.

Firstly, i'm really very sorry. I'm late for 40mins for the very first time. I had never ever in my life late for so long. & somebody waited me for so long :( Sorry pz :(

We went to vivo, or rather, pz was waiting for me at vivo. Then, ohmygudxzc, there's so many ppl! Even trains! You know, someone's shoe was stuck at the door of the mrt. Like so damn despo LOL. Okay, i shouldn't be so bad ( anyway, i wasn't laughing at him then, i was thinking "walao, so kiasu". LOL ).

So ... Queues everywhere, seriously. Even going up an escalator! It's really very ridiculous, the queue was damn long, but fortunately, we didn't wait for too long. & guess what? Me & pz saw .. *ahems*, but sian siol, i nvr see till the whole face sia. I missed a chance to see 'shuai ge'? Lol. Then, 2nd level, even more horrible. The queue was super super long. Twice as long as the first level one ( okay, i know i'm like comparing the length of noodles .. LOL ). We waited for at least 5mins, & guess what? All of a sudden, people went to cut queue, & i mean, a BIG GROUP of ppl. So, we cannot lose out, CHIONG ARH! LOL, just kidding, we weren't so kiasu ><" LOL, but we did went to the front, instead of queuing ( like duh! not fair you know! ).

Finally, 3rd floor ... We saw a queue that leads to the outdoor, so we went to queue ... w/o knowing that we need a ticket to get in -..-" Damn. ( I mean, a ticket to get in, to have your seats ). So, we walked another way, we have no seats, so we stand. It's really very exaggerating, there's really a lot of people. People pushing, squeezing blahblahblah. &, it's kinda bored, it's just like watching tv at home ( except that we don't have a seat & it's squeezy ) 'cause we can't face the stage man.

Then, drizzle a little, for just like a few mins? But guess what? We saw people standing up & finding their way out. They are afraid of the rain, but not us :D So, we get ourselves a seat, LOL ( oh, i mean, sitting on the floor ... -.- ). Bored bored bored, 'cause ppl at there wasn't even high at all. Like kinda dead, obviously, the host was lying. Saying that the live scene was high to the max. Funniest thing was, when patricia mok came out & sing, suddenly, everyone cheered! LOL. Maybe, there's a new trend, people cheer for those, not as pretty one nowadays ><'' LOL.

After that, when the clock strike 12! WEE, i send out messages ( messages not delievered .. ):< ) Fireworks, i saw some, or rather, a little. People were finding their way out already ( 'cause they know there'll be a queue at the escalator ), & we, cannot lose out too! LOL, jk lah!

We went outside of vivo, near the bus stop or 'fountain' there. There's x'mas tree, pretty ones! :D & we saw, nearby, there's MAC. Obviously, we're hungry to the max. We haven't eaten our dinner ( in fact, i haven't even eaten lunch, LOL ). So, we went to da-bao our supper! :D Oh, i rarely eat supper /: Whatever~

We went to beside the x'mas tree to eat! :D Yummyyy. Guess what? There's an intruder !!!

Oh, maybe he's too cute to be an intruder .... But he really did. First, he stood beside me, smiling & staring at me. Oh, or rather, my food. So so so, you know what he meant huh? He's hungry too. In the end, we spare him fries. & everytime, after taking our fries, he'd run away! >:( Bad siol! Finally, he have his own food ( shown in the pic ), & he came to us again! Smiling away~ I offer him a fries, he kindly took it & run away again! LOL, greedy siol! ><" LOL. After that ... Erm, he became some kinda messenger, so, we ran away. /: ( fyi, he wasn't posing when i'm taking pic, but this is a nice pic yeah? )

Blahblahblah, we went home! Guess what? When i reached home, there's nobody in! My bro conned me! He told me he'd be back before 1am! But i actually reach home earlier than him! Piggg! Parents are not back yet!

I was spammed by lotsa smses! & i dk what already. Guess what? My messages were sent at 1am like that lor! So angry sia.

Hmmmm, i want to ask MP something, but i guess MP asleep already. Maybe tml! :D yay! I'm happy. TML I'M GOING OUT AGAIN.

Er, this post was a very rush one, can tell yeah? I think i missed out something too, but nvm, will post again if i recall something. Sorry.

But i think this countdown isn't fun. Like obviously, it's like watching tv at home! -..- lala whatever, i'm still happy (: Yay. Told ya so that i won't be sad, 'cause ...

>>> IT'S A BRAND NEW YEAR ! <<<

Labels: happy

(Rewind, ♥)

hang on, 1:48 AM ♥

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Some people stay longer in your life,
while some stay longer in your heart.

I guess you belong to the latter ♥

Sighsighsigh. I just came back & prepared everything already. Today is the last day of year 2009...

I feel, erm. I really don't know. Before that, i was excited & happy. Now, kinda, sad. Oh, it's really nothing related to missing this year or whatsoever. Actually, i'm looking forward to first day of school ONLY.

Just felt that, a lot of unpleasant things had happened this year. I thought this year would be a good year, but who knows? Always expect the unexpecteds.

First of all, my studies weren't good at all, it dropped a hell lot. Second, E. Third, friendships. So, now left with my family relationships is steady, while all others ...

Alright, i shall not be so pessimist. I have nothing to say about my studies, 'cause all the subjects i scored badly. E ... I also have nothing to say too, that's the worst. Friendsips, well, at least not all of my friendship are unstable, only some. And that i've enjoyed myself this year. For example, me & pz combine birthday at WCP; sentosa for jackson's bday; cindy's bday at WWW; tw trip; x'mas countdown; x'mas'09; & lastly, this newyear countdown. ( I know i miss out a lot, 'cause i'm just recalling those events that i can remember )

Despite all that, i still can't help myself from feeling sad. Know what is the most important to me? Now that it's gone, what more can i say? It have been years, & i should have got over it, but till now, i couldn't do it at all. I know there's no use crying over spilt milk. But, who can understand how am i feeling? It's not like you guys have been through something like that before. And, all i could blame is myself ...

Ah, whatever. As i've said, today is the last day of 2009. I don't want to be really THAT sad ... Hmm, nevermind, i guess later i'll be fine. 'Cause i'll be expecting the crowd, cheers & laughters at the countdown. Smile smile smile, cjl gotta be strong. &, i'll end this post by ...

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL.

WELCOME 2010! :D

& it shall be the best year of all, here i come, fatty O! :D

**************************************************************************

( EDITED./ ) 8:58 PM

Ya know, at first, i wanna come back to blog 'cause of someone cheering me up. I wanna thank that stupid person! But now... RAWR, that person super bad siol, spoil my reputation! RAWR. But whatever, loveya stupid idoit! LOL. Yeahyeahyeah, you know who you are, RAWR. Whatever, a new year is coming, don't you ever think of neglecting me like you always did!

Labels: E

(Rewind, ♥)

hang on, 8:15 PM ♥

Last night, before i went to sleep, i tried out something new! Haha, guess what? 'Cause as i had mentioned, i hate to sleep beside the stupid kitchen door. So, i thought of putting two of the living room's sofa together facing each other. & tadah! A bed is formed! :D My bro said that i'm mad. Lol. But seriously, it's really comfortable, but, hmm, kinda useless. As in, i could sleep on one sofa ( i won't fall ) ... So, i moved everything back, LOL.

& unknowingly, fall asleep on the sofaa. Not bad uhs, can sleep all the way to 6am w/o waking up in between. 'Cause if i sleep beside the kitchen door, i'd wake up serveral times -.-

Lalala, later, going out. Then, countdown! :D Yay, i wonder will it be even more fun than the x'mas one ...

Sian sian sian. My parents would be coming back today, i supposed, since my bro called them just now. Erm, i don't know. It seems like so damn rush. About the countdown thingy, i'm taking a risk. My mum say that she'd be back home tonight, ard 1am. Hmm, i'm really not sure. But i don't even think that's possible. 'Cause, it can't be possible that my mum is on the plane ( phones should be off ) when my bro called. 'Cause, it'd take them 20hours+ to reach here ( oh, but still needa depends on where are they now, which i'm totally clueless. They didn't just went to Europe. They went to Paris, Italy, Germany, Venice & who knows?! ) Argh, nvm, i'm taking a risk. I somehow have confidence that i'd be back home before they do. If i didn't make it, haha, let's see. Damn, i just started enjoy the freedom i have man -..- Shucks, it's now all going to go back to mama :( Ewwww!

Sighsighsigh. I'm doing all the whatever housework now :( Seriously, i don't feel good doing all those ... But, i don't know. I have no idea why am i doing all those. &, i done something, in my whole life, i'm not gonna forget it. It's super duper damn ... Sigh :(

Anyway,

HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance !

Let's all welcome 2010 with love & joyyy! :D

(Rewind, ♥)

hang on, 2:21 PM ♥

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Again, i didn't sleep well last night. I kept on waking up in between. Ha, i remember i doing something super retard, LOL. I pat on my bro's head, & he's awake, LOL. ><" Dumb lor, i don't know why i did that.

& yeaps, so sad man. My bro school starts today :( Eww, nobody accompany me at home, he won't be eating out with me :( Eww, pangseh-er.

Something pissed me off right in the morning. A stupid message sent last night. Like asshole man. Can't i have the right to choose? & oh please, don't ever choose for me. I know what's best for me. Look who's talking? You make it sound so harsh, like i've commited crime, when i just didn't reply? ( Oh please, i was asleep then! ) What you expect me to reply? I thought that was the end of the convo, & of course, i wasn't even in any mood to entertain you man. It sounds so threatening & demanding ( rude ) man. & know what? In my whole life, i hate ppl to demand/ threaten/ insult/ backstab & invading my pirvacy. Like whatthehell, who are you to do that? Zzz.

Whatever, shouldn't let that spoil my mood today. Ohwell, i was somehow fine today ... Despite what happened ytd. 'Cause, in the mist of my sleep last night, somehow i was thinking about it. & i think i've sorted it out? Actually i don't even know how i did that man, but i know i was thinking about it ... & just sorted it out somehow? Weird. Okay, i was half-asleep then.

Newyear's coming! Yay, but obviously not chinese new year ( No ang bao yet ). Eww. Whatever, i guess tml would be something like x'mas thingy :D Yay, it gotta be fun fun fun! :D

LET'S CHEER, I SHALL BREAK THE GOOD NEWS! :D

New Moon is the top #4 of 2009 movieee! Weee, cool bo? Okay, i might be a little lame .... But as a total Twilight fan, ya should understand my feelings... LOL. :D Haha, yeah yeahyeah. Shit this is making me even more look forward to the last two movies man! ><"

&&, top #3, guess which? UP! Yay, that old grumpy cute man sia! :D Well, #2 is Harry Potter. Hmm, okay lahs. & guess which is #1? Damn, it's Transformers. I don't understand it lol. -.- It seems like some kinda ultra-man show siol, & how could it ever get #1? -.- At least, something even more interesting, like my NEW MOON! ~.~

(Rewind, ♥)

hang on, 7:06 PM ♥

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Alright i'm home. Sigh. Let's start from the beginning.

I went to MP's house, i'm late again, for 10mins. But this time, you gotta blame my bro. 'Cause, when i'm going out, he's still sleeping.

Me : Hey, i going out le arh.
Bro : Where you going?
Me : i told you ytd, i going to my friend house.
Bro : Where got ... ( he faking! )
Me : Got lor !
Bro : EEEE, you go liao, leave me alone in the house sia.... :(:(:(
Me : -laughs- go & die lah, you also always like that.
Bro : I don't care, make breakfast for me first!

-.- So i prepare breakfast for my bro before going out.

Met MP. Went to MP's house. Lol, ohwell whatever, MP says i cheated, & lololol. I don't care. You guys don't know how engross i am, reading Eclipse. & i had finished reading it! Lol, fine, i admit, i hop all the way to the middle & started reading. Lol, & somehow, i've forgotten what it's about -..- Whatever, i'll still be catching the movie. Pictures tend to stay longer in my memory.

Lololol, & i guess that really irritate MP to the max man, LOL. 'Cause, i kept reading ... & blahblahblah, lol. Finally, after skipping here & there, i finally finish reading the book. We went to central walk walk. & playground.

We played swing as usual. This time, we didn't talk as much. Guess what filled my mind when i was playing the swing? "Life's just like sitting on the swing. When you're at a low point, you'll love the breeze but it tend to get boring. So, when you wanna venture out of the little zone. Then, you'll find it risky, & you're afraid that you might fall from the top, getting yourself bruised." Lol. &, we were there chatting about life & so on. I felt a little uncomfortable, with a man behind us, listening to what we were talking. Lol, so we move on to the little "house" & continue with our chatterings.

I can never stop talking about X ( let's change the name today, since i'm not locking my blog ), totally. I can go on talking non-stop. Well, i really felt so, regret. I feel like i'm a complete baddie. & yes i am. Know what? I guess MP didn't even noticed it, i was on the verge on crying. Haha, but in the end, i didn't, i controlled it somehow. Sigh, maybe it's just a fact that i couldn't change & accept, that's why ... Although i know i can't change it no matter what, i just can't help feeling sad. It's really my biggest mistake & regret. Guess what? I'd really loved to be tied down for once, seriously, i want that. If i had been more stubborn, i guess, i would be. Hmm, but i guess, that's my first time asking ... So, yeah, would be a little kinda afraid. Lol, & it wouldn't be something i would do, not my style. But i did it somehow, i know i gotta grab the golden opportunity, & that dummy wouldn't do it. Sigh ...

On my way home, the whole conversation seems to play back in my mind, repeatedly ... Words appeared on my mind. I am a baddie. I can't deny that ... I guess all the crazy thoughts overflow my mind, until i don't even know what i'm doing. I can be walking way home, & stopped suddenly for some stupid reasons.

Trust that i'm stupid enough to believe my bro. He said he'd be out for a while, & he isn't back yet. So, i'm alone at home. I felt different. Usually, when i come back, i'd remove my contact lens & bathe. But this time, no. I somehow have a feeling. A feeling that insist me, to blog first before i do anything else, so i did. I feel that i'm scary. Just because, i am crying inside, but not a single tear dripped down my face. I seriously didn't try to hold back my tears ... I'm feeling so miserable inside. I want to cry, but i couldn't. Why the hell am i ... Sigh. I'm sad, real sad.

Sigh, i don't have any mood to sms anymore. But i felt like a baddie, again, if i just ignore it. Plusplus, we have been msging since morning ... But i'm feeling v vexed, frustrated, sad now. I didn't reply to his previous one, and another came... I don't want to go out ... ya know .... but i don't know how to say 'no'. damn it. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

************************************************************************************

( EDITED./ ) 10:47 PM

MP demanded for a book report, since i spent the whole afternoon reading Eclispe. & still claimed that i cheated, once again! Alright then, since i have nothing to do, & i don't want to keep my mind & soul wandering else where, i'm writing the book report then. So unwillingly. & i thought i mentioned that i've forgotten what the book is about, lol .. Let's see ...

Eclipse, erm. Mostly is about how Jacob & Edward get jealous, haha. I think it's totally lameporkass. But i enjoy reading it, it's totally funny! LOL. Yeahyeahyeah. Victoria's coming back for Bella, & on Bella's graduation day, there's a party. Inviting humans to Cullen's house. Yeaps. & so unexpected, Jacob & 2 of his pack came too. 'Cause Bella invited Jacob the other day & expect him not to come, but who knows. Bella was v shocked, but didn't really bother. 'Cause her mind was about about Alice, Edward. Yeaps, she knew about the Victoria & those newborns vampires are coming.. Jacob knew something was wrong too, & he demand, to know what's happening. When Alice came down looking sad, Bella called for her. & Alice told Bella & Jacob & his gang what happened. Yeahs, Alice saw Victoria & 21 newborn vampires coming for Bella, 3am. Just then, Jacob said, he'd help & blahblahblah, they join forces.

- Let's jump -

In the middle, was all crap. As in, everything revolves around Bella, Edward, Jacob & Alice. Hmm, maybe not so much on Alice. But i find one part about Alice is really amusing. She asked Bella how much Bella loved her, LOL. Bella said she love Alice. & Alice asked, why didn't Bella invite her to her wedding, 'cause she saw Bella going to Vegas to marry, L-O-L. & yeahs, Edward made some kinda 'hand-me-down' i guess, to Bella too. Erm, yeahs, a ring for Bella too, marriage.

In the tent, it's freezing cold. Erm, i shall not emphasize on it too much, 'cause you know what happens, lol. Bascially, just about Bella, Edward & Jacob. Then, Jacob leave to talk to Seth. Edward & Bella were talking about their marriage thingy. Jacob heard it ( & Edward knows ), Jacob wanna suicide. Edward chase after Jacob, 'cause Edward find Bella extremely sad, & he felt he's not playing fair ( & you can see Bella cry~ ). Blahblahblah, Jacob's fine. & it's really v irritating, 'cause you'll find it confusing. Bella love both of them at the same time ( Edward knows that )! Ohwell, she obviously love Edward more, but i felt, that isn't good. Like some kinda two-timer.

Then fighttt! Edward stayed with Bella ... Blahblahblah, Victoria find her way to Bella & Edward. Blahblahblah. Obviously, both of them didn't die. Jacob was injured, but obviously, he didn't die.

Blahblahblah, Jacob told Bella that they're going to be just friends. Bella & Edward prepare for marriage .... Blahblahblah.

That's all. LOL. Alright, i think i missed out a lot of parts, but whatever. I think what i've written, are some of the interesting part. Oh, maybe, i replaced the most important part ( fighting ) with "blahblahblah". Okay, i admit, i skipped that part when reading. I find it super draggy. Edward kept persuading the Rilley(?) that Victoria's just using him, & he can choose not to die, if he just leave. Yeahyeahyeah. Okay, all the parts with the "blahblahblah", i actually skipped them ><" Lol, else, do you guys think i could really finish the book within an afternoon's time? Hmm, but i find Eclipse okay, compared to New Moon. New Moon is defintely the best, 'cause it's the sadest part. But whatever, i still look forward to Eclipse & Breaking Dawn movie. Just two more years, & i can't believe it's over. & if there is any DVD or CDS on Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn, trust me, i'd buy them all!

Anyway, i guess i'm somehow okay now. Nothing, nobody cheered me up. I don't know, this is something strange about me. I don't like people to console me ( although i really want them to ), 'cause i felt that they would fail to do so. 'Cause i know i'm really terribly sad, & nothing else could cheer me up, & that would affect their mood too :( I'm already a baddie myself, & i don't want to ruin other people's day. So, sometimes, i'd rather just keep quiet for maybe few hours & maybe i'd be better. If not, that's too bad for me, just keep quiet for even longer. &, i don't know. Just now, i ate two bread, it's from breadtalk. Can you ever imagine it? Two of it. & i've mentioned, this year, when i'm sad, my style is, not to eat. But now, i guess i'm back to the square one. I just feel so sad/ angry ( at myself ), i needa something to chew on. Sigh, although some, stupid thoughts were on my mind just now. Just wondering, why am i still hanging on. I could end all these so much earlier, at least a few years back. But i didn't do it, 'cause i thought i could get past it. Now, time prove me wrong. So, i was thinking ... Sigh, i really don't know. Who knows if one day, all these guilt of being a 'baddie' could kill me?

Labels: E

(Rewind, ♥)

hang on, 8:22 PM ♥